i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
