Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
