Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
