are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
