and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
