Porn is love you can see.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
