guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
