I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
