6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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