I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
