just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You are the jesus of drinking
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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