rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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