He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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