I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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