singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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