I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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