If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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