weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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