hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
