Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
