she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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