Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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