Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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