So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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