I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
