she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
