Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
