we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
