Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
