I just found puke in my bra..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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