Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I need to calm my uterus...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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