I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
