what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
