dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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