Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
