Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
