Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize