He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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