Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
