You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
