I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
