i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
