So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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