I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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