I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
