I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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