am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
