I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
