Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
