Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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