Did you just see the Batmobile???
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
