So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
