I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
