I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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