Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
