I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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